6.8.09

Another Whatnot

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For some moment I thought you were happy. When was it back then? June?

And in July, things took an opposite side.

To be frank, I was so stunned to receive your phone call. I thought you were still smiling everyday back then. You know what I mean. I hate mentioning it myself.

But I don't know why I tried to make things seem insignificant. To show that I'm strong and got over it? As I replay our whole conversation in my mind I feel so guilty. I am truly sorry. What had I done? How could I do that! I imagined the hurt that I've inflicted on you- no, I failed to imagine- it's beyond my imagination. I regretted so much. How I wish you could call back again- and I could correct what I've done wrong before. But silly me, that's something that couldn't possibly happen.

The more times I think of our conversation the more remorse I feel. The continuous pauses and sighs- it's the first time I'd ever heard from you. As I think back now, I have the grasp, for the first time, of just how disappointed you were.

When we let something go, if it doesn't come back, it's not yours.

Personally I don't think so. If we can't wait for chance to come, we create chance. Back then in May, I came out between classes everyday just for the chance to bump on you.

And no, I don't mean anything else here. I'm just explaining.

Why do we have gaps between our fingers?

Because =).

P.S: The amount of processed photos I have is unparalleled by the number of posts I'm writing. Haven't got the time to produce my pictures, hmm.

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